My new year’s resolution
With the start of a new year, we often take stock in our lives and look back at a year that was. Many of us take this time to look at ways we can make our lives better by making resolutions.
I have spent many new years deciding to lose weight or to work harder but neither of them ever lasted longer than a month. This year I have decided to do something that will actually make a difference to others who I care for dearly. I have three children that I love more than anything I could imagine, therefore, I have decided to become a better parent by following these basic resolutions.
I resolve to listen to my children
With our hectic lifestyles and busy schedules, it is too easy to put our children in the background. Many parents will ask their children about their day, but that is all. We are quick to hush them when we are busy doing something else. I resolve to listen to my children and to care about what they have to say. Talking and listening to your children allows them to gain comfort in speaking with their parents. The more comfortable my children are talking to me about the minor things will hopefully allow them to talk to me about the harder things they may face when they get older.
I resolve to nurture, praise and encourage my children
Self-esteem is such an important asset for all of us to have. I resolve to not let any moment pass where I can praise my children and encourage them to try hard. A little praise and encouragement is fundamental in developing a child’s self-esteem. A child needs to know that they have the support of their parents when they are trying new things or doing their everyday tasks. Self-esteem helps children become assertive and mentally strong. This mental strength also helps protect children from any predator who may seek a weak child.
I resolve to allow my children to be children
Due to many reasons including television, music and peers, children are acting older and older. In modern society children are being forced to grow up fast. Some of these pressures are placed upon them by their parents. I resolve to allow my children to just be kids. I will not place adult expectations upon them. Placing adult expectations on a child will only frustrate the parent. A frustrated parent has the capability of losing their temper and control. An angry frustrated parent could hurt a child. Allowing a child to be a child relieves any pressure that is on the child and it takes a lot of pressure off of the parent.
These are just three resolutions that will make me a better parent; three that will make anyone a better parent. These three are just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many things that can make someone a better parent. At the beginning of every year, we look at ways to make ourselves look and feel better. It is time that we look past ourselves and focus on what truly matters most; our children and our families. I ask that we all take the time to look on how we can become a better parent.
Steve Martinez, LCSW, LSOTP, is executive director of the archdiocesan Office of Victim Assistance and Safe Environment.