 |
Couples enjoy some time getting to know one another at one of the marriage preparation weekend retreats held at T Bar M Resort & Conference Center.
Photo provided |
|
 |
| For more information on marriage preparation classes, call the Office of Marriage and Family Life at 210.734.1649 or go to the Web site, www.archsa.org/familylife/calendar.asp |
By Jake Samour
For Today’s Catholic
On May 2, 39 couples met at the T Bar M Resort and Conference Center for the start of their marriage preparation retreat. Although each couple is different and each brings their own particular story, they all have one thing in common: they are seeking marriage in the Catholic Church.
Engaged couples are some of the busiest people around; lots of time and energy are dedicated to picking out the perfect dress, the flowers, a cake, a caterer, etc., all geared toward the perfect wedding. Unfortunately, in many cases, not near as much time is spent on planning the perfect marriage. Most come to the retreat because they have to — the priest or deacon has told them that in order to get married in the church they have to attend classes or a retreat.
The Marriage and Family Life Office takes on the daunting task to convince the couples that participating in these retreats to prepare for the sacrament of marriage is one of the most important things if not the most important thing they can do for their new life together. We liken this life as the start of a journey, a new adventure in which they are embarking for a lifetime.
Time spent preparing is crucial for each of these couples if they want to make what they commit to at the altar, namely, their vows last forever.
Besides the important pastoral meeting with the priest or deacon, all of the other major components for a comprehensive marriage preparation as delineated by the new guidelines, are covered between Friday evening and early Sunday afternoon at the retreat. The couples are presented with God’s plan for marriage and sexuality and are challenged not only to live it before marriage but also within marriage.
“It’s a big challenge to present these couples with the beauty of the church’s teaching, because unfortunately, the culture has done a better job than the church with formation in this area,” said Ramie Samour, one of the presenters. The statistics in San Antonio are a little higher than the national average showing that over 90 percent of the couples who come to marriage preparation programs are already sexually active, and nearly 60 percent of them are cohabitating. “Even with these staggering statistics,” Ramie noted, “for the most part, the reception is very positive. We’ve heard over and over: if only I had heard this message before, maybe I would have done things differently.” When couples are introduced and invited to live the truth and the beauty of God’s plan for marriage, they realize that this corresponds to their deepest desires, this type of love is what their hearts long for. Couples see the reasons why they are called to love as God loves, in that they are created in the image and likeness of God, and they have been redeemed by Christ who gives all the possibilities to live it. The call to love as God loves within marriage provides the foundation and the main argument to show the church’s teaching on responsible parenthood, by practicing Natural Family Planning (NFP). For many of the couples, it is the first time they have heard a complete explanation of NFP. Lennard, a retreat participant in May, commented, “I enjoyed the NFP discussion the most on this retreat. This was an area in which I was totally unfamiliar and these talks have greatly educated me on this topic ... The knowledge I obtained from the talk will greatly benefit my future wife and I during the course of our marriage.”
Beyond the time spent in a conference room, couples are given time to discuss and reflect upon the themes presented as well as time to enjoy the grounds and activities at T Bar M. Also within the weekend there are times for prayer, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and confessions. For many couples, this time is the highlight of the weekend. A participant commented, “Thank you for the time of adoration. My mom has been trying to get me to go for years, and now I know what it is!”
Another said, “Thank you for offering confessions. This is the first time in nine years that my fiancé went to confession!” The retreat culminates with the celebration of Mass on Sunday. This is a great opportunity for the couples to know how important God has to be in their lives if they are to make their marriage last. God has to be at the center of their lives, otherwise they will have difficulty making it. Father Mark Clarke, CMF, who has been the chaplain for all four of our retreats this past year, encouraged the couples to make their relationship with the Lord a key aspect of their relationship together. Father Mark explained in one of his talks that “best-selling relationship authors may know a lot about relationships, but they still can’t stay married. The secular world can only offer so much, but since marriage was instituted by God, God has the answers and has to be a part of your marriage.”
The retreat ended on Sunday afternoon with couples convinced that this had not been a waste of their time, but that a blueprint for marriage had been offered, and some tools were provided for them to make it through the tough times that will inevitably come in the future. This also marked the end of the inaugural year of marriage preparation weekend retreats sponsored by the archdiocese.
These retreats were made possible by making it affordable for couples to attend, with funds from the Archbishop’s Appeal. We are thankful to all who have made it possible and will continue to make it possible for us to be able to provide this ministry to our couples who are in such need to hear the ‘good news’ about marriage and family.
Our Catholic community here in the archdiocese stands to benefit tremendously from the fruits of these weekend retreats. “Lord, give (engaged couples) the strength, which comes from the Gospel, so that they may be witnesses of Christ to others. Bless them with children and help them to be good parents. May they live to see their children’s children.” (From the nuptial blessing in the Rite of Marriage.)